i'll be back...

i can't sleep. so i write. or so i try to. but why do i continue to write? i feel like any decent thought just escapes me, and i'm left with a puddle of mud when i stare at this certain screen. times do exist when i may feel like i'm thinking on some higher level, some possible deep shit. it only takes a couple seconds to shake that bullshit off and realize i still have two arms and legs and have my feet firmly planted on planet earth. is this process enjoyable, or am i one bored child? at this point i feel like a corporation that's slipping, on the brink of just collapsing. no government bail out available here, though. the only possible scenario i see myself being a part of is a thorough revamping of this....whatever it is. before, thoughts would flee my mind because i was pushing some new stuff in, but now they've been sick of the same old shit that they're finding better places to inhabit. in other words, i'm losing it. so what i'm looking at now is something like a month off maybe, and in the time being i will desperately attempt to expand my intellectual mind...like by actually beginning to read shit again. and explore newer facets of art and experience new feelings. there may be the occasional jackpot idea that must make its way to this "place" but it's gotta be some grade A shit. so to whomever who actually still reads this, the karo is gonna be on hiatus till jew-lie. but i might check up once in a while, i mean who knows maybe some actual interesting shit may happen in my life? i'm gonna revert to finals mode in a couple days and then lazy-ass-i-don't-give-a-shit mode, as well as nba finals mode, and then fifa world cup futbol mode, but somewhere between all that shit something valuable may be jotted down. this "place" has sort of become an archive of my life for the last couple of years. its time to get rid of all the filler and actually do some real thinking, all the time.